No Longer Faint of Heart

Let’s just say I got some of the BEST news I have ever received this past January.

Sometimes when you’ve been living below your potential for such a long time, you can only dream about someone telling you that you can start over, that the bad stuff never happened. Somehow for me, that recently became my reality.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’ll start at the beginning.

Worst Day

Ever since I was tiny, I loved sports. Growing up my mom taught me how to play every sport under the sun and I quickly found my favorite- soccer.

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I know, I’m precious. I mean, just check out that hair! 

When I was about 15, everything in my life started to fall apart. Up until then I thought I was really rockin’ at life. I had a cute boyfriend, supportive friend group, and a starting spot on my competition league soccer team. At that point I anticipated my future to be full of collegiate soccer games, occasional homework and basically nothing else.

One by one all those things I mentioned above started to disappear, until I only had soccer left. Considering I thought I didn’t really have much else going for me, I threw everything I had into becoming a better player and getting scouted. Probably my main problem in this endeavor was that I was just a slow runner (still am). It’s my athletic curse!

I started speed training within the month and that’s pretty much when I remember everything changing. The trainers had me put my hands on the treadmill to take my heart rate and the next thing I knew they were calling my mom and making me rush to the doctor.

The Diagnosis

Apparently I had what was called “Borderline Prolonged QT Syndrome”. Which basically means the doctors thought I had an irregular rhythm to my heart rate, causing me to have an insanely high heart rate while exercising.

After a ridiculous amount of tests, my results were ‘inconclusive’ which meant they were pretty sure I had it, but there was no way to be sure. I was then stuck living a very cautious lifestyle. I had to stop playing some of the sports I love, couldn’t do really anything with adrenaline, and even had to limit the roller coasters I went on. For a teenager this was absolutely awful.

I became very sedentary and wallowed in self-pity. This was also the same year I found out I had Crohns disease and my dad left for a military tour in Afghanistan so needless to say it was a rough time. I put on a lot of weight and my self-esteem plummeted.

Learning Curve

Really at that point there was nothing I could do but accept the cards I had been dealt. My turning point came slowly over time but ultimately I came to this realization.

I had no idea why God decided I needed those limitations, but I would never figure it out by sitting on the couch.

Wallowing gets you nowhere my friends. It’s time consuming, boring, and never results in you feeling better. After getting over myself, I learned so much about perseverance, love, and compassion. I became more understanding of others with limitations and took time to learn about my own body. While it wasn’t always the most fun, I learned to find things I loved about myself and build confidence one day at a time.

So here’s the miracle

I know I built this whole story up to this moment so, without any more fluff, here’s the awesome part.

Remember the prolonged QT syndrome? Ya. I don’t have it. 

This January when Payson and I went to the doctor for my annual checkup we learned that my past few tests have come back clean without even a trace of irregularity. My doctor told me that occasionally people can grow out of prolonged QT if it’s found during teenage years and it’s possible that I never even had it at all.

I no longer have to take the medicine, and have so many windows opened to me it’s completely overwhelming. I remember crying on the way home saying “I can play soccer again. I can ride the rollercoasters (which I irresponsibly did before anyway but always wondered if I would survive it). I can exercise however I want.”

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My new favorite form of exercise– GOAT YOGA! They’re such cuties. 

While I still don’t understand why I needed to be restricted all those years, I’m surprisingly not mad about it. The people I met, the lessons I learned, they were absolutely worth it. Honestly it’s like that iconic part from the grinch where although my heart (possibly) had issues, it grew with love so much that it broke the dumb thing they were using to measure it!

Even the worst of times can be turned into a miracle. With a little faith, patience, love and acceptance it’s amazing what God can do. And even if there isn’t a tremendous miracle at the end, it will always be worth the journey. 🙂

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Have you had a miracle in your life lately? OR something inspirational you want to talk about? Leave me a comment or send me a message! I’d love to feature your story 🙂

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